Good Girl

Although my tripod German Shepherd, Sunny, and I spent our first canine academy class in time out, I learned a lot more than resentment.  

I seem to be reprogramming my own brain. 

The secret that the instructor told us we would all forget about is this:

Controlled

Frequent

Positive

Exposure

It's a formula I latched onto immediately because it's one I've always wished people would use on ME.

I don't learn or perform well when I'm stressed.  When I'm anxious my brain shuts off.  When I'm sad and defeated I go completely numb.

Of course I can shake that stuff off, but it takes valuable time and energy.  It costs me. 

I always wondered why we don't teach people using more Yeses than Nos.  Affirmatives work better.  I WANT to do the thing right, so why are you slapping me when I do it wrong?  Then I have to recover from the slap.  I would learn faster if you just told me when I'm doing it RIGHT.

But here's a thing I learned a long time ago-most people don't really know what they're doing.  And then they take it out on the people they are teaching.  Teaching is just abuse clinic a lot of the time.  Just torturing people for fun and profit.  It's not about learning at all.

Despite decades of that shit, I'm starting to treat myself the way I'm training the dog-with rewards.  She likes praise.  I like praise.  I can praise myself when I do something well.  This was one of the cardinal sins when I was growing up in rural New England (the saying was, "Don't start thinking you're somebody,") but it works.  If it works on Sunny, it will work on me.

I'm my own dog.  And it's making me happier.